


a slice of heaven i gave to you last night

by TheSeerOfTime



Category: Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: M/M, More angst, Morning After, One Night Stands, One sided relationship, and hey more pining ian, based off a melanie martinez song, im such trash, more lowercase on purpose, slight request?, so im writing this, someone on tumblr was like 'i need more hateship caddimoose', that's my writing aesthetic for angst tbh, whoo boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:59:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6905353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSeerOfTime/pseuds/TheSeerOfTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>groggy mornings are the worst, aren't they?</p><p>[ lmao. had to fix the title, fyi. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	a slice of heaven i gave to you last night

**Author's Note:**

> this is for you, random person on tumblr

ian stumbles into his bathroom, groggy and tired. he might have slept through the night, but definitely wasn't very  _restful_ sleep. 

he feels like such a moron--the previous night was coming back in fragments, a side effect of being so tired, he guesses. but good lord, he wishes they'd all come back at once, he feels bad enough about it already.

it was such a dumb thing to do. mark that down as #1 on "ian's list on dumb things he's done", because wow, he's even surprised at himself. seriously. how did things end up like they did? he doesn't even remember, even with everything coming back.

ian has to hold onto the sink so he doesn't just fall down to the floor. frankly, he'd rather do that, but he doesn't quite need to. you know how things are.

taking a deep breath, his gaze goes up to the mirror. he noticed his eyes look more tired than usual, which he's not surprised.

while also noticing the red marks running up and down his neck. god, how is he supposed to explain these? there's probably no non-suspicious way to explain them. yeah, he could actually say what they are, but then he'd have to explain, and...

he stares at them, feeling more regrets than he's equipped to handle coming up to surface. he's so _sure_ last night ruined any sliver a chance he had with james. after all, ian's sure one night stands don't really end in a relationship. actually, he's sure they  _never_ end up in any sort of relationship.

besides, james probably hates him  _more_ for that. not that ian would blame him for it.

(frankly, ian's starting to hate james more for it, too. well, okay, he's starting to _really_ hate james.)

god, that makes things worse, doesn't it?

he has to grit his teeth and stare straight at the sink to keep the emotion from showing, even though he's alone. james must've left hours ago. 

he needs to pretend he doesn't care, move on with his life, pretend the previous night never happened.

yeah, that's it. just move on, he tells himself.

* * *

only, ian  _doesn't_ move on, to his misfortune. he pretends he did, though. never brings it up, no matter what. as far as he knows, the only people who know are himself and james.

(and he doubts this is bothering james as much as it's bothering him.)

(it probably isn't, knowing him.)

(great.)

he doesn't spend too much time actually thinking about it. it just hits him sometimes, remembering the entire night, and he starts feeling rather hollow. it hurts. not to mention--what are they called? "phantom pains"? whatever they are, he _swears_ he can feel every touch again, _all_ _of them_ , no matter how long it's been. that definitely hurts too.

(that makes everything worse  _again._ fun.)

he wonders what exactly he did to deserve this, and how exactly to get everything to feel normal again--somewhere close to normal, anyway.

so he can actually  _look_ at james for once, instead of avoiding it every chance he'd get.

(he claims he ignores him because of hate. well, that's not completely wrong. hate and regret are powerful emotions, aren't they?)

so he doesn't have to lie when he seems "distant", when it's actually because his memories are a bunch of douchebags.

(yes, douchebags, that's the best word he can think of.)

ian figures neither of those will happen soon.

(fun.)


End file.
